The Honeymoon's Over!
by Kaiser Ryouga II
Summary: Sheez...my first attempt at humor...dah well...see what you think. Five 'couples' from the Guilty Gear cast compete in a game show that offers them a wonderful grand prize...anything you want...


The Honeymoon's Over!

In the bustling city of Post-Crusade Berlin, masses of eager men and women walked through crowded streets to reach one place. A popular network studio of moderate funding draped in flashing neon lights and streamers. The cheery clusters of excited citizens poured into Noontide Studios, more and more people arriving by the dozen. 

And why were they so excited you ask?

Well for a game show of course! The Honeymoon's over! 

A lovable game show that had been around since the old days of the twentieth century. The popularity of this show made it all the sweeter for everyone. Because by the year 2059, _The Honeymoon's over_ had evolved from a small time game show, to a massive international franchise. And now, Noontide Studios, Germany had requested for this show to be hosted in Berlin. By now this show had become so popular that it started to issue out a whole new grand prize. 

Anything you desire. 

Inside the studio, more and more crowds of people came and took their seats, nattering and chatting about the show that was about to take place. Amongst those people was the sweltering Prototype Gear of legend, Sol Badguy. 

"Geh..." Sol growled. This place was infested with miserable gnats, hoping to block out their sadness with a crappy show. _"This better be over with soon." _

Quickly, Sol took a seat in the front seats of the studio audience, resting Fireseal just at the base of his armrest. Carrying the thing around might worry someone if he wasn't too careful. Then he'd have some screaming idiot calling him a psycho. But he had good reasons for being here though. 

Just as Sol took his seat, the lights above the stage across from him switched on sharply, and an eager chorus of cheers echoed in the studio. 

A voice announcer sounded out, amidst the cheers and whistles of one of Berlin's finest audiences. "Hello folks! And welcome to the Honeymoon's over! Let me introduce tonight's guest host, Dr Faust!"

The heartfelt cheering took a deeper level as Faust stepped onto the stage, donning a formal tuxedo and (as usual) his gigantic six-foot scalpel, strapped onto his back. 

"Hello everyone! And welcome to The Honeymoon's over! Now, before we bring out the couples, let me explain the rules before we get started. This is a test of knowledge, about you and your significant other. We shall ask questions of each person, and then their respective spouse will confirm the answer. For every question answered correctly they get points, and those who answer incorrectly...could get hit by their partner with one of these lovable plush pillows. Ho, ho, ho, ho!"

Sol scowled. "Hitting each other with...what kind of fruity game show is this?"

"Heh! I disagree!"

Sol's searing brown eyes darted to his left. With that trademark grin of his, Johnny walked up to Sol, with May and April taking up the rear. Johnny took a seat next to Sol and smiled at him. 

"What's going on?" Johnny asked quietly. "I never pictured a tough as nails kinda guy like you coming to a place like this. What happened? Did a gypsy give you back your soul?"

Sol shut his eyes. "Why the hell do you have to be here?" 

Johnny smirked. "I guess not. But since you asked, one of my crewmembers is in this game show. We came to cheer her on."

"Whatever." Sol said. 

May paid no attention to Sol, and wrapped her arm around Johnny's, smiling happily. "Wow! I've never been to a place like this before, Johnny! It's just a shame that we couldn't be in this...we'd win it for sure..."

April's eyes rolled in their sockets. "Yeah...they say pigs fly south this time of year too..."

May looked over at her friend. "What was that, April?"

April sweatdropped, waving her hands apprehensively. "Hey...I didn't say anything...nothing at all..."

"Stop acting weird, April. We're here to have fun, remember? We should be excited for Dizzy, she's really happy about this. And plus...arrgh!!"

May leapt back in fear when an ashen white skull popped into the air. Soon this skull was accompanied by the materialization of Dizzy's faithful protector, Testament. Testament looked around for a second, and then took a seat next to April. 

Johnny, May and April stared at the Gear with sheer fright. Testament looked back at them. "What?"

"A normal person would have used the door. You scared the bejeezus outta me." May said, shuddering for emphasis. 

Testament ran a hand through his hair, not really taking much notice of May's question. "I am not exactly 'normal' as it is."

Sol's eyes darted to his left again. Now more people were showing up. And yet the only thing they'd end up doing would be getting in the way. 

"Who invited the Queen of the Dead?" Sol said gruffly. 

Despite all the bad will that existed between him and Sol, Testament let that one roll off his back. Even though he would have liked nothing more than to put Sol in his place, this was Dizzy's big day, and he didn't want to ruin it with needless violence. 

Testament threw a scowl meant for Sol, but turned his attentions to Johnny. "Kindly inform that hot-headed Neanderthal that I am here for Dizzy, not to rend his flesh scrap by scrap."

Sol chuckled a little. "Whoa...I think hell just froze over."

Johnny sweatdropped and intervened before something got started. "Now, now, lets not get angry with each other…lets just enjoy this as best as we can, then when it's over we can kill each other in the parking lots. Agreed?"

Testament resisted the urge to summon his scythe. "That is acceptable to me."

Sol shut his eyes again. "Whatever."

May decided that it was best to stay out of that little tiff and looked up at the stage. There were five podiums, each built for two people, and another for Faust. But as she looked at Faust, she felt…something.

May clung to Johnny's arm a little tighter. "Weird...I...feel a chill when I look at that announcer guy...I wonder why..."

"What are you talking about?" April asked.

May pointed to Faust. "There's something weird about that guy...he-"

Johnny cut off May, before she could finish her sentence. "Shush, May!" Johnny whispered. "It's starting."

The loud cheering of the crowds subsided slowly as Faust starting talking again, as she tapped the purple colored question cards in his hands.

"Okay then! Shall we get started? With great pleasure, let me introduce our first couple! Let us give a nice warm welcome to Bridget and Dizzy!"

May and April joined in with the cheers of the surrounding audience, offering their own bid of support for their good friend Dizzy and her new boyfriend, Bridget. 

"Whoo!" May yelled. "Go get 'um, Dizzy!"

The innocent Gear and her English bounty hunter stepped through the lilac velvet curtains of the stage, hand in hand, and walked over to their podium, the one marked with 'Couple No. 1'.

The two smiled at each other. Dizzy was still a little nervous about this, she shouldn't be making public appearances in her situation (Dizzy had to hide her wings and tail) but she was also thrilled about this. She and Bridget were finally admitting their relationship to the world. 

Faust smiled at the two of them, though you're really couldn't see it under the paper bag and all. "Hello, couple one. Welcome to the honeymoon's over. Why don't you start off by telling us a few things about yourselves? Now long have the two of you been together?" 

"Well..." Dizzy started nervously. "Bridget and I have been dating for around three to four months now. We are just telling people about now though."

"Well that's very nice." Faust said. "And what do you want for your Grand Prize?" 

Bridget tightened his grasp around Dizzy's soft hand. "Dizzy and I don't really want anything much. We're happy with each other."

The crowd chipped in their approval with a bout of 'ahhh, isn't that cute?' All except for two men, who were sitting casually behind Testament. 

"Hey…" The first man said. "Aren't they both…girls? That's a little weird ain't it?" 

The second man also piped up. "Forget that! Look at the blue-haired chick! She looks like that the second self-reliant Gear from months back! Don't you think...?"

Testament turned around sharply. "Silence you ignorant, bastard mortals! How dare you make judgment on my precious one!"

Groups of the crowd went silent from Testament's outburst, but the Gear took no notice and turned his attentions back to the stage. "It's all okay now, my special child. You may continue."

Johnny covered his face in embarrassment, hoping to God that no good-looking women saw any of that. May and April just stared oddly at him. 

May leaned towards April and whispered into her ear. "That guy's a little...strange isn't he..."

April whispered back. "Yeah...you wouldn't want to meet him on a dark night...or any other time of the day for that matter..."

Faust tapped his cards, ignoring the crowds. "Okay then...lets bring out our next couple! All the way from China, please give a warm welcome Ky Kiske and Jam Kuradoberi!"

An ecstatic, cheery Jam stepped out of the velvet curtains arm in arm with an embarrassed and somewhat flushed Ky Kiske. The 'happy couple' took a seat in the booth parallel to Dizzy and Bridget's. 

"Hey there, Mr. Faust!" Jam said cheerily.

Ky sighed, he could have sworn that the grip Jam had around his arm was cutting off the circulation to his hand. "Greetings..."

"Well don't you two make a wonderful couple? So tell me, how did the two of you meet?"

Jam's eyes went wide with romantic nostalgia, clutching onto Ky's arm even tighter than she had been doing before. "Well...we were at a nightclub two years ago in a small town in China. Ky and I locked eyes...ever since then we've been hopelessly, madly in love with each other."

Ky looked confused. "Two years ago? But I only met you last Tues-"

Jam cut Ky off with a nervous giggle. "Now, now Ky, leave those details to me! Anyways, just last year, Ky proposed to me and bought me the biggest engagement ring ever! I mean you should have seen the size of that rock! Whoooo! Baby!"

Faust looked at Jam's hand. "Well then, where is?"

Jam quickly put her hand behind her back. "Um...it's...getting engraved, yeah...that's it...engraved..."

Faust nodded. "I see. So what do you two want as you prize if you win?"

Ky didn't miss this chance to throw in a willing comment "Oh well, there was an exquisite collection of rare Japanese teacups that I was looking at yester...ouch!"

Jam deceptively elbowed Ky in the ribs to keep him quiet. 

"Actually..." Jam started. "I think we would *both* like some money to pay for my restaurant. See, it burned down a few days ago and I need some cash to rebuild it."

"Brilliant!" Faust said. "Well let's bring out the next couple."

Johnny smirked at Ky, who was being silently scolded by Jam. "Heh, heh, heh! What happened to Ky? If he got any more whipped, he'd be butter!"

As rare as it was, Sol managed to speak out. "Doesn't surprise me."

"Okay!" Faust yelled out eagerly. "Here's couple three! Everyone say hello to Baiken Seishino and Anji Mito!"

Anji chuckled amusedly as he stepped out of the velvet curtains of the stage, followed by an irritated, angry and unsociable Baiken. She could not believe that Anji had tricked her into participating in this idiotic circus. The only thing that kept Baiken inside that place was the promise of 'anything she wanted' if she could win. And naturally, Baiken had her angle...

The two Japanese colonists sat down in the booth next to Ky and Jam, and Anji could not help but wave to all the wonderful people cheering him on. However Baiken was not so amused. 

"Well hello there!" Faust said to Anji and Baiken. "And how did you two get acquainted?"

Anji grinned. "Well, Baiken and I met each other at a ramen place just a few months back. Ever since then, we've been besotted with each other."

Baiken's eye narrowed. "Your lack of shame is astounding, Anji Mito."

The Fan-carrying Japanese man leaned to Baiken and whispered. "You want that grand prize, don't you? Do you think either of us can pass this up?"

Baiken's shoulders slumped. Hard to believe, but Anji was right. This was an opportunity that they may never get again. Baiken weakly moved herself a little closer to Anji, shutting her eye in disgrace. 

"Yes...we are besotted..." Baiken coughed. "...he...'rocks my world'..."

"That's very nice." Faust said. "And what would you like as your prize?"

Baiken's eye filled with serious determination when she exclaimed, "I want a confrontation with That Man." 

Faust looked from one side of himself to the other. "What man?"

"That Man!"

Faust was still confused. "..."

"You know!" Baiken said angrily. "...'That Man'...Ano Otoko?! Creator of Justice? 20 percent psycho and 80 percent bastard?"

Faust shook his bag-covered head. "Not following you."

Baiken growled in frustration. "Well, whatever the hell his name is, I want his bloody, maimed, burned, diced, skewered, lifeless carcass strewn out across my feet."

"Uh..." Faust was dumbstruck. He was the kind of person that attracted weirdoes anyway. This wasn't much of a surprise. "I'll look into that...well, lets bring out the next couple! 

At the other side of the large studio, I-no, avatar to 'That Man' walked through the large metal doors into the studio. Three or so hours ago she had gotten into this huge argument with Millia about absolutely nothing important. Some horse crap about I-no flirting with other people way too much. I-no couldn't understand the ex-assassin's problem. It was innocent at best, nothing heavy. Millia always had this way of twisting a little thing into a big thing. Now, I-no was tired of having to deal that nag, constantly on her case, and decided to have some...'fun'. Unfortunately for I-no, Berlin was about as exciting as an Amish prostitute. 

However she found masses of people inside this place, maybe she could have her fun right here. 

"So...what's all this then...?" I-no said, to no one in particular. Then she looked over to the stage at the far side of the studio, seeing three couples there. 

"Geh..." I-no sighed miserably. "It's some crappy dating show...I don't have time for this..."

Just as I-no began to turn away, Faust branched his arms out at the velvet curtain. "Please welcome our next couple! Axl Low and Millia Rage!"

I-no swerved around sharply. "What!?"

A grinning Millia stepped out of the curtains arm in arm with a nervous (but happy) Axl. He couldn't believe his good fortune. All he wanted to do was to watch this thing and see who won. Then Millia came up to him and asked the brit if he wanted to enter the game with her. Axl was always going to be faithful to Megumi, but he had to admit, this did sound like a lot of fun. Millia on the other hand...had much more devious intentions today. She was sick to death of I-no chasing around anything she saw. If she could flirt like there was no tomorrow, then so would Millia. Only difference was that Millia would do it ten times better and rubs I-no's raunchy nose in it...it was what she deserved...

Needless to say, her plan was working like a charm...I-no seethed with jealousy as Axl proudly walked Millia over to the 4th podium. 

_"What the hell is she doing with that loser?!" _I-no thought harshly. _"Look at him...with his hands all over my woman...I'll *kill* that son of a-"_

I-no didn't even bother to finish thinking, as she stormed over to the front line of the seats to get a better look at this. Before long, I-no was at the front row, and in her anger, she forcefully pulled a random audience member out of his seat, and sat down. Normally I-no would have blown her stack and just blew up the whole damn place with some of Marlene's sweet loving, but something inside the rocker just told her to watch this for a while and see what happened. 

"Okay!" Faust said. "So when did you two lovebirds meet each other?"

Millia smiled deviously, wrapping her lithe arms around Axl's neck, leaning into him with an exaggerated passion. "Oh we met long ago...and we've been happy ever since then...me and..." Millia cut herself when she realized that...

Axl seemed to pick up on this. "It's Axl." He whispered.

"Yeah...that's it!" Millia said, then she lowered her voice. "Axon and I...we've been so happy together..."

Millia then scanned the crowd. And her sneaky smile got even deeper when she saw I-no in the front seats, burning with jealous anger.

"Axe is perfect for me." Millia uttered seductively. "So much more satisfying than my old, promiscuous, flirtatious, can't-stay-faithful-to-save-her-damn-life girlfriend."

Faust sweatdropped. "Yes...I see...well what do you want for a prize?"

Axl was the one to answer this. Millia didn't really care about anything other than making I-no jealous, so this was the perfect opportunity to get his one wish. 

"I'd like to meet the man that can travel throughout time and space in the same way that I can. If that's okay...?"

"Well...I..." Faust drifted. "...I guess that's valid...fair enough. Now, let me bring out the last couple! Everyone, say hello to Zappa and S-ko!"

Zappa stumbled out of the velvet curtains, walking onto a stage. The Australian man cringed in nervousness as a massive crowd stared down on him. This was not what he needed right now. What he needed was to find Dr. Faust. He was the only person that could cure him of this terrible affliction. 

Johnny stared curiously at Zappa from his seat. "Why the heck is he on his own if this is a dating show? Oh, I get it! He's one of those 'self-love' kinda people. It's a brave move but...must be kinda lonely..."

May cringed a bit. "He looks weird to me...and I still get chills when I stare at that Faust guy...why...why..."

Zappa took a seat nervously, and Faust greeted him. "Hello, Zappa and...S-ko...where might your girlfriend be then young man? Is she still backstage?"

"...Hello? I'm sorry but…could you introduce me to Dr. Faust?" Zappa said. 

Faust pointed to himself. "That would be me."

"Oh thank God!!" Zappa said feverishly. "I'm begging you! I need your medical advice and expertise! I have this terrible affliction..."

Faust leaned over on his podium. "I am sorry, my boy. But I'm a host and a host only tonight. I'm afraid you'll have to wait until tomorrow unless it is serious or life-threatening."

Zappa felt it coming on..."But it is serious and life-threatening!! Every once in a while, my body just seems to lose consciousness and then...a...arrrrrrghhhhh!!"

"Something wrong there, son?" Faust asked. 

S-ko, the parasitic leech of a ghost woman, took over Zappa's mangled body, his face darkening, his eyes turning a beastly crimson and his mouth leaking of saliva. 

"AND THEN I HATE YOU!!!!!!" Said S-ko. 

"Well...I'm accustomed to hatred." Faust said. "But I'm sure we can sort all of that out later. So where might S-ko be?"

"YOU FOOL!!" S-ko bellowed darkly. "I AM THAT WOMAN!!!!! FEAR ME!!!!" 

"Oh I get it!" Jam said, looking over at Ky. "That guy and S-ko are 'one'."

Dizzy was confused. "If they are the same person…isn't that cheating? Who knows someone better than they know themselves?"

S-ko bellowed again. "I SAID FEAR ME!!! WHOOOOOSSSSHHHH!!!!!!!" 

Faust evaluated the situation. "Well...technically they are two different entities fused into one...so I guess it's logical to assume that they are a romantic couple."

Baiken scowled. "What sort of foolish game is this?" And she pointed at Faust. "You there, witch doctor! Are you going to allow this?"

Faust shrugged. "I don't see why not."

"I AM A GHOST YOU IDIOTS!!" S-ko yelled out again. "WHY ARE YOU NOT SCARED? RUN FROM ME!!" 

"So S-ko," Faust said cheerfully. "How did you and Zappa meet?"

The possessed body of the Australian stopped wailing around, and actually put some thought into that question. "WELL LET'S SEE. I TOOK OVER ZAPPA'S BODY AROUND...I DUNNO...THREE MONTHS AGO? I THINK THAT'S RIGHT. WE MEET AT A CHARMING LITTLE PLACE CALLED PHANTOM CITY."

"And do you love him?" Faust tapped his cards in the usual manner. 

"THE HECK SHOULD I KNOW? I PRY INTO HIS MIND AND STEAL HIS BODY. I DON'T BAKE COOKIES FOR THE GUY."

"Okay...well what would you like for a prize if you win?" Asked Faust.

S-ko to a moment to think. "A TRIP TO THIS 'AUSTRALIA' PLACE HE KEEPS NATTERING ON AND ON ABOUT MIGHT BE NICE."

"Well that's good enough for me." Said Faust. "Okay, lets start the questions! And we'll start with couple number one. Dizzy, if Bridget could describe you in one word, what word would it be?"

Dizzy thought for a second. "Um...Angelic?" 

Bridget cheerfully held up a lavender card marked with the words 'angelic'. Dizzy giggled happily and hugged her loving boyfriend. 

Faust smiled. "Now that brings a tear to my eyes. You get ten points!"

May, Johnny, April and Testament all smiled when the electronic point tally on Dizzy and Bridget's booth went up by ten. 

"Whoo!" May yelled. "That's my girl! Win this thing, you guys!"

Faust looked over at Ky and Jam. "Okay. Couple number two. For ten points, Jam, what is Ky's favorite material possession?"

"Oh that's easy!" Jam said. "His fancy teacup collection! Ky was bugging me about an antique store that had some nice ones just the other day."

Faust stared at Ky. "Well, Ky?"

Ky held up the card in his section of the booth. On it was the statement 'My precious collection of teacups'. Jam chuckled knowingly and Ky's shoulders slumped. Bust still, he had to admit...Jam did get that right...

"But…" Ky began. "I was only asking miss Kuradoberi for directio-" 

Before Ky could finish, Jam slapped her hands around Ky mouth. "Oh, ho, ho! Ky, dearest...we've had our turn..."

Faust looked from side to side. "Uh...well, that's ten points for Ky and Jam. Moving on, to couple number three! So Baiken tell us. Who is Anji's favorite person in the whole world?"

Baiken grinned and rolled her eyes. "Heh. It doesn't get any easier than that. Anji's favorite person in the world is himself."

Faust and the audience suddenly went silent. The only thing that could be heard was the sound of a cricket's chirps and I-no mumbling all kinds of hellish profanity about Axl. 

Baiken looked around to incredulous stares. "What? It's true."

Faust looked at Anji. "What did you say, Anji?"

Anji smirked at his Japanese companion and lifted up a card that had the name 'Baiken' written over it. 

May squealed in the crowds. "Oh, that's so cute! Why is that old woman such a mean old thing...?"

Baiken looked oddly at Anji for a long second. "Me?"

Anji just shrugged. "Yeah, why not? I mean, myself? How vain do you think I am?"

"I...guess I misjudged you...Anji." 

Faust smiled brightly, staring at the crowds. "Can you feel the love, folks?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Baiken yelled loudly. "I said I misjudged him, I didn't say that...oh never mind..."

Faust tapped his deck of cards again. "Okay then. Couple number four. Axl, tell us. What is Millia's all time hobby?"

Axl thought for a second. He remembered that Millia gave him a list of all her personal details and facts, so he could get the questions right. And soon after, he remembered that.

"Uh...I think it's playing with cats or something like that." Axl said.

Faust pointed to Millia with his cards. "Millia?"

Millia lifted the card to reveal the words 'Playing with cats'.

"Wonderful!" Faust said directly. "Give those two lovebirds ten points!"

The blonde Russian woman grinned sharply and stared out into the crowds. She was more than pleased with the effects of her plan. If I-no got any more green-eyed she'd explode. But Millia wasn't done there...

"Ten points...how wonderful. But no points could ever measure the love and passion I feel for..."

The Time-traveller sighed. "It's Axl..."

Millia rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes, whatever. Acne and I were made for each other." 

I-no scowled hatefully at Millia and Axl. The red musician was so angry she didn't even notice that Sol was sitting eight seats across from her. For some reason…having to watch that greasy animal paste his hands all over her precious angel just tore I-no up. But then, after this thing was done, I-no would do the exact same thing to Axl. The only difference would be that Axl would be spending the rest of his days in a graveyard. 

_"You better hope I don't catch you..."_ I-no thought darkly. 

"Alrighty then, folks!" Faust looked over at S-ko/Zappa. "Lets move on to couple number five. S-ko, what is Zappa's most treasured fruit?"

The ghostly possessor grinned. "THAT'S EASY! BANANAS!" 

"Okay then." The crazy doctor nodded while S-ko left Zappa in control of his body for a short while. Zappa's eyes and skin returned to normal, and he breathed a sigh of relief when he regained consciousness. 

Zappa's blue eyes looked around his settings. "Uh...what...was going on? Dr. Faust?"

Faust pointed at the cards Zappa's booth. "Just lift up that card right there."

"But why?" Zappa screamed. "What has that got to do with anything? Can you not see that this woman is in control of my body!?" 

Faust tapped his fingers on the podium he was standing by. "Yes. I see that. Now, if you could just lift up the card so we can see your favorite fruit..."

"Fruit?" Zappa barked. "My favorite fruit are bananas! But that has nothing to do with-"

Faust smiled. "Marvellous! Zappa and S-ko get ten points!"

As the electronic tally on Zappa's podium went up, the possessed man stared at Faust in disbelief. "Dr. Faust! Why won't you help-"

"Okay!" Faust said quickly. "That was the end of the first round. From here on in, all correct scores will be for twenty points. Now back to couple one! Are you ready?"

Both Dizzy and Bridget answered Faust. "Yes!"

"Okay then. For twenty points, Bridget. What is the one thing that annoys you about Dizzy?"

Bridget smiled wholeheartedly, looking over at his girlfriend. "Nothing."

Dizzy's eyes went wide with confusion, and her heart pounded with the drums of love. "R-really?" Dizzy found herself stuttering. 

Bridget nodded. "Of course." 

"What did you say, Dizzy?" Faust asked. 

Dizzy lifted up a card that read, 'Undine and Necro'. Both Dizzy and Bridget were confused, but within Dizzy was happy feeling for this shock. 

"Are you saying they don't bother you?" Dizzy asked timidly. 

Bridget shook his head, grinning from ear to ear. "You're my perfect angel. Nothing about you bothers me. Not even Grandpa Hellfire and the midwife."

Dizzy dropped the card, thoughtlessly. "Oh, Bridget..."

Dizzy rested her palm on her chest. She couldn't believe how much Bridget loved her. Or even how much she loved Bridget for that matter. Both Bridget and Dizzy's slowly closed in towards each other as their lips got closer and closer. A wave of excitement, comfort and love shot into Dizzy as she pressed her soft set of lips against Bridget's. 

"Ahhhh!" The audience said in unison. "Ain't that the cutest thing you ever did see?"

"I'd have to agree folks." Faust said wistfully. "It warms my heart to see that. Okay you two..."

Dizzy sighed pushed her body up a little closer to Bridget's, and Bridget reciprocated by wrapping his arms around Dizzy. 

"Okay...you can stop now..."

Bridget deepened their kiss, separating Dizzy's lips and offering the innocent Gear his tongue. A muffled cry of joy leaked from Dizzy's mouth from such an endearing action, and she clasped onto Bridget's cheek tenderly, and following that-

"...Hey!" Yelled Faust.

The two lovers broke off sharply but reluctantly, their cheeks glowing with a fervent crimson. "Um...sorry. Dizzy and I can...get a little carried away..." Bridget said apologetically. 

Faust sweatdropped. "I guess it's okay. Just remember that this is a respectable game show. Not softcore porn for some crazy fanboy."

Both Johnny and Testament stared at Bridget and Dizzy with utter confusion. "Wait a sec..." Said Johnny. "When the hell did Dizzy learn how to kiss like that?"

May lowered her head and giggled a little. "Well...a couple weeks back Dizzy was nervous about what she had to do with Bridget during *those*...moments. And well, me and April gave her a few tips...that's all."

Johnny tried desperately to shake off the dark glare that he was getting from Testament. "Whoa, whoa...I didn't know anything about any of that!"

"On to couple number two!" Faust said eagerly. "Ky. This question is worth twenty points. If you get this right, you will be put in the lead. Are you ready?"

Ky nodded indifferently. "I assume so."

"Fine! Now, what is Jam's favorite meal?"

Silence. Ky shook his head, much to Jam's disapproval. "Well?" Jam said. 

Ky looked back at his 'wife'. "Well what?"

"What's my favorite food? Come on, sweetie you know this one."

Ky just shrugged. It was indignant but it was true. "I am sorry, but I haven't got a clue."

Faust scowled at the former commander. "You...you don't know that? What kind of husband are you?"

Ky's eyes narrowed. "I am not her husband!"

"Heh, heh, heh..." Jam laughed nervously. "Oh Ky, you're such a kidder!"

"But am not..." Ky sighed. Well, may as well give it a shot. "...Anything Miss Kuradoberi has cooked herself?"

Jam grinned brightly, flashing her card, marked with 'Something I've cooked myself'. Faust smiled at the two of them, and Jam curled her arms around her flaxen haired knight of justice. 

"Correct!" Faust pointed to Ky and Jam's tally. "Give those two lovebirds, twenty points! Ky and Jam take the lead!"

Jam giggled childishly. "Well, what did you expect? Nobody knows me better than my man!"

"Couple number three!" Faust looked in the direction of Anji and Baiken. "Lets see if you can catch up with our leaders, Ky and Jam. You have no points right now, but you do have the potential to catch up. Are you ready?"

Anji nodded confidently. "Ready!"  And Baiken just sighed. "...Ready..."

"Okay, Anji. For twenty points, what is Baiken's oldest past time?"

"...Um..." Anji tapped one of the twin Zessen fans on his wrist as he thought about that. "...Well...is it...uh..."

Baiken rolled her peach tinted eye. "Please take your time."

"...Hmm...well...I..." Anji decided to take a stab in the dark. "Um...Mah-jong...?" 

Faust pointed to Baiken. "What did you say, Baiken?"

With her one arm, Baiken lifted up her card. On it were the words, 'drinking sake after sharpening her blade'. Anji's eyebrows rose. "Oh...so that's it..."

Baiken shook her head in frustration. "Do you even want to destroy That Man?"

"Well..." Anji commenced. "To be honest, my aim is knowledge, not revenge. See, vengeance is your angle, Baiken."

Baiken just gritted her teeth and looked away. She couldn't believe she had been sucked into this madness. 

Faust shook his head. "With that kind of attitude, it's no wonder poor Anji didn't get the answer right...do you think you might have a medical deficiency that prevents you from being feminine?"

"Fool!" Baiken spat. "I have forsaken my femininity to pursue That Man! I have no need for romantics!"

Jam smirked. "It shows. I thought you looked like a bit of an old maid."

Baiken stood up from her seat and placed her keen hand on her sword, withering Jam with a hateful glance. "What did you say, girl?"

Jam clenched her fist arrogantly. "You pickin' a fight, grandma?"

"Now, now ladies..." Faust said cautiously. "This is a game show, not a talk show, so keep you hands on your lover and not on each other's necks..."

While Baiken and Jam cooled off, Faust turned his attentions to Millia and Axl. 

"Now, Millia and Axl." Faust looked at his card. "If you correctly answer this question, you will be running along side Ky and Jam with thirty points. Are you ready?"

Both Millia and Axl nodded. "Satisfactory! Now, Millia. What is does Axl dislike more than anything in the world?"

Millia squinted at Axl. Then she realized that she literally knew nothing about this man. She could bump into a total stranger and still know more about him then she did Axl. Well, I-no's sour grapes were all Millia really cared about, but she owed it to Axl to at least help him win the prize. 

Resolve or not though, Millia still had no idea. "Um...I'll pass."

Faust scowled sharply. "What?"

"I said I'll pass. I don't know the answer to that question." Millia whispered to man next to her, eliciting dagger-like stares from I-no. "Sorry about that, Exo."  

He didn't mind, but... "It's Axl..."

Faust shook his head. "Well...for the first time ever...someone has forfeited a question. No matter. On to couple number five!"

"Please help me! Before I lose myself!" Zappa yelled desperately. 

"Is your love for S-ko that strong? Don't worry then. This question should be easy enough to answer. What is S-ko's…" Faust checked the card over. "How the heck did a question like this get in here? Eh...well..." Faust cleared his throat. "So...Zappa. What is S-ko's favorite sexual position?"

Ky almost choked on his own air. "Good lord!"

Zappa breathed in heavily. "Dr. Faust! I'm begging you! Isn't helping people your missiiiiooooonnnnn..."

"HEY THERE!" S-ko said. "I'M BACK!"

"Wonderful, S-ko. So what is your favorite sexual position?"

Zappa's possessed body picked up a card, brandishing the word, 'missionary'.  Faust just held his hand to his chin and thought to himself for a second. 

"Well...Zappa did say something about mission or whatnot, so I'm going to allow that answer! S-ko and Zappa are tied with Ky and Jam at 30 points a piece!"

Anji looked over to S-ko, confusion in his words. "Excuse me, but..."

"WHAT IS IT, BOY!?!" S-ko shrieked. 

"I saw just wondering how you could possibly have sex. I mean...you're a ghost..." 

S-ko leaned over and gazed into the distance wistfully. "I WAS RECALLING THE DAYS I USED TO SPEND WITH MY BASTARD OF A BOYFRIEND, BACK IN THE PAST WHEN I WAS STILL ALIVE. WHY DO YOU ASK?!"

Anji leaned back in his seat. "No reason. No reason at all..."

"Well that's fine." Faust exclaimed. "Now, we shall move on to round 3! From now on, all questions will be for thirty points! Lets start with couple number one. Bridget, Dizzy. This is for thirty points. Answer this correctly, and you'll be put in the lead. Are you ready?"

Dizzy nodded, her hand held softy by Bridget's grip. "I'm ready, Mr. Faust." 

"Brilliant! Now. Dizzy. What would Bridget say is the strangest place you've ever-" Faust checked around this card as well. "...Well...I assume this is a legitimate enough question but...geh. What would Bridget say is the strangest place you've ever...'ahem' ...had intimate relations of a physical nature?"

Over in the crowds, May looked oddly confused. "What does that mean?"

"Sex." April said bluntly. 

"Oh no!" Testament said sharply. 

Johnny, May and April all looked towards the protective Gear for a suitable reason for that outburst. "What is it?" Johnny asked.

Testament just shook his head, looking up at the stage. "I am afraid that Dizzy and Bridget will attain no points in this round. Her purity knows no bounds."

May scratched the back of her head, nervously, but with an amused smirk on her face. "Um...actually..."

Up on the stage, Dizzy turned a strawberry red and cast her eyes lowly. "Well...there was this one time...in the kitchens of the ship..."

"What!?" Testament bellowed loudly, then instantly called his blood stained scythe to his side, directing his fury towards Johnny. "What in God's name have you been teaching my precious one?!"

"I didn't teach her any of that!" Johnny said defensively. "Besides, she isn't a kid. Not really. She's a beautiful young woman. She's going to eventually meet people and things are going to get heated...and then...y'know."

Testament narrowed his eyes. He was seriously beginning to rethink his decision about leaving Dizzy with the crew of the Mayship. "..."

"Simmer down you two." May said. "Bridget's about to answer."

Faust pointed to Bridget. "What did you say, Bridget?"

Bridget smiled cheerfully and raised the lavender card in his hands. On it was the written words, 'kitchens of the ship'. Dizzy smiled happily, no matter how embarrassed she was, and once again pulled her loving boyfriend into a tight hug. 

"Now that there is what we call sweet love." Faust beamed. "Well, Bridget and Dizzy win thirty points and are in the lead!"

Faust turned his to Ky and Jam's booth, fishing out another card to question them with. "Okay. On to couple number two if you get this right-"

Ky cut Faust off. "Hold on a second, Dr. Faust." The French Knight turned his attentions to Dizzy and Bridget. "Can I just ask? How do two women...do that sort of thing? I mean...I've always wondered..."

Over in the crowd, Sol rolled his eyes dejectedly. "What an idiot."

Bridget nervously looked back at Ky. "Um...actually...I'm a bo-"

"Alright!" Faust said quickly. "This question is to Ky and Jam, for thirty points, which will put you in the lead. Are you ready?"

Jam nodded cheerfully. "Yes!" 

"Okay then. This question goes to Jam. If Ky could describe your relationship in one word, what would it be?"

"Oh that's easy!" Jam said confidently. Then her brown eyes glazed over as she added, "Magical."

Faust looked over at Ky. "Okay, Ky. What was your answer?"

Ky shook his head knowingly and lifted up a card that read, 'Delusion'. The crowds in the audience shuddered in unison, while Jam just looked at Ky strangely from this. 

"Delusion?" Jam said. "What are you talking about?"

Ky put the card to rest and looked at Jam sincerely. "I was asked to be truthful. I am sorry, but...well..."

Faust waved his hands at the two. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Lets not get into any of that now. We are here to entertain, right? Okay. So, moving on to couple number three! Baiken and Anji. So far you have absolutely no points what so ever. But if you answer this correctly, you'll be back in the game. Since you have no points by now, I'll have to ask Anji a second question about Baiken. Is that understood?"

Anji nodded. "Yes!"

"Very well then! Anji, what is Baiken's ultimate..." Faust stopped to look at the cards. "Who the heck wrote these things...?"

Johnny adjusted his shades and smiled calculatingly. May looked over at her captain. She could always tell when Johnny had his hand in something. And the look on Johnny's face proved that she was right. "Well..." Johnny said. "They said they needed some help writing these things so...I gave them a little hand."

April shut her eyes and leaned back on her chair. "I should have known."

Faust just sighed, whilst looking at Anji. "Oh well. Anji, what is Baiken's...ultimate turn-on?"

Anji's shoulder's sagged. "Kami-sama, why do you keep giving me the hard questions? Geh...um...well...I...hey! I know! She'd just tell you to mind your own damn business!"

Faust looked at Baiken. "Well...is that true?"

Baiken sniggered and lifted up her lavender card. It was inscribed with the words, 'mind your own damn business.' 

Jam scowled angrily. "Hey! That isn't even an answer!"

Faust considered that for a brief second. "I suppose. But Anji did get that right so, Anji and Baiken get thirty points!"

Anji smiled as the electronic tally on their booth went from zero to thirty, and curled his arm around the Japanese swordswoman. "You see there 'honey'? Everything's going to be just fine. Nobody knows you better than I do."

Baiken leaned closer to Anji. "You see this sword?" Baiken whispered. "It will be paying your intestines a visit if you don't keep your mouth shut..."

"Now!" Said Faust. "Lets move on to couple number four! Millia and Axl. You have ten points. Answer this correctly, and you'll win forty points, and will be on par with our current leaders, Dizzy and Bridget. Are you ready?"

Axl nodded, while Millia smirked at I-no, who was still blowing smoke in the audience. "I'm ready, man." Axl said. 

"Superb. Okay then, Axl. You've given Millia plenty of nicknames over the times you've been together. What is Millia's favorite, and when are you most likely to use it?"

Axl thought for a second. Millia had told him this before; it was just a matter of remembering it. After a brief few minutes, it came back to Axl. 

"Oh yeah!" Axl cheered with poise. "Millia's favorite nickname is 'Cookie'. And the most likely time I'll use it is in the bedroom."

Millia's grin deepened, still not taking her eyes off of I-no, and raised her lavender card. On it was 'Cookie, and in the bedroom'. Millia saw the furious look on I-no's face and took advantage of it, by plastering her arms around Axl once more. 

"Good work, Axl! You and Millia are now on level with Dizzy and Bridget! You get thirty points!"

I-no was scowling in her fury. _"Cookie!? But that's my nickname for- How the hell do he know about- Oh I'm gonna rip you limb from limb!"_

"But of course..." Millia breathed deceptively. "Only Oxl knows me by that name...we share the deepest of relationships...right?

Axl rolled his eyes. Couldn't believe that Millia still hadn't caught onto his name. "Yes, whatever...but my name is...ah, forget it."

"Fair enough." Said Faust. "Now...couple number five! Zappa and S-ko. You so far you have gotten thirty points. If you answer this question correctly, you'll earn sixty points, and since you would have three correct answers in a row that automatically makes you today's winner. That means if you answer this question correctly, you will win the whole shebang! Are you ready?"

S-ko nodded. "READY!"

"Okay, S-ko. What is Zappa's biggest fear?"

S-ko thought to herself for a second. "OH...I KNOW THIS! HIS BIGGEST FEAR IS THE COSTS OF THE SPINAL SURGERY HE HAD LAST WEEK! HIS BACK WAS TWISTED UP LIKE A PRETZEL."

"I see. Well let's hear Zappa's response."

Quickly, S-ko relinquished her control over Zappa's body, his body finally regain consciousness. Zappa blinked for a few seconds to recover a sense of surrounding, and remembered where he was. 

"I'm still...here...I'm still...alive...thank the stars..."  

"So Zappa," Faust began. "What is your biggest fear?"

"Excuse me?!" Zappa yelled desperately. "Can't you see I'm in pain? Help me! I need your medical help!!"

"I'd be happy to, my boy. But unfortunately, I can't help you until this show is over.  So if you could just lift up that card right there..."

Zappa sighed and lifted up the card. It had the words 'spinal surgery costs' written on it. Jam, Baiken, Anji, Axl all scowled in frustration when they realized that...

Faust smiled brightly. "Brilliant! That is the correct answer! Zappa and S-ko, you are today's winners! Congratulations!" 

"Oh man, what a crock!" Jam yelled irritably. "Those two aren't even a real couple! Come on!"

May sighed. "Oh man...you mean that weirdo won it? I was sure that Dizzy and Bridget would take that thing, no sweat..."

Johnny just shrugged. "I dunno. Guess you can't win them all." 

Sol growled angrily and pulled up the Fireseal. He couldn't believe he came all this way for that miserable carnival. As soon as he started to make his way to the door, Johnny called out to him.

"Hey, Sol! You a bit annoyed that she didn't win? Is that why you came?"

Sol didn't even bother to look back. "...Whatever."

Faust pointed to Zappa with his cards, staring at the studio audience. "They are the winners! Everyone! Give it up for Zappa and S-ko!"

The audience broke into a loud chorus line of laughter, cheers, clapping and reverent whistling. Taking his scalpel into one hand, Faust stepped around the podium he was standing at, and walked over to Zappa and S-ko's booth, shaking the Australian man's hand with good cheer. 

"Congratulations, Zappa. You and S-ko must really love each other." 

"Who is S-ko?" Zappa screamed. "Why won't anyone listen to me? I need your help Dr. Faust! Please!!!"

"Now, now my boy. I'm sure it's nothing an all expense paid trip to Australia won't cure! And to get you on your way, Noontide Studios have hired a brand new van! Well...brand new give or take a few years. Enjoy your trip to Australia!"

Zappa's eyes went wide. "But I *live* there! Dr. Faust, I am begging you to help meeeeeeeeeeaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!" 

S-ko grinned as she regained control of Zappa's body. "THANKS! WE'LL ENJOY OURSELVES DOWN UNDER!"

Faust and the studio audience all clapped happily as S-ko controlled Zappa made 'their' way to the door on the far side of the stage, leading off to a back street containing the van Faust was talking about. And so...S-ko left...

**********

Two days later...

**********

Groggily, Zappa awoke from his sleep. His head was pounding like a drum in hyper mode, and the muscles in his loose body ached. From the looks of it, he was back in his mom's house in Australia. Then the memories of that outlandish ordeal all came back to him...if he had known that it would have ended like that...

It must have been a dream. It had to be. 

Slowly the door to the room Zappa was in opened. His mother stepped through, brandishing a cup of tea and a plate of cookies. Zappa's mom smiled brightly at him. 

"G'day, Zappa!" She said. "How are you feeling?"

"Mother? What...am I...no...you mean...it wasn't a dream?" Asked Zappa. 

Zappa's mother placed the tea and cookies on the table next to Zappa's bed. "Was what a dream, son?"

Zappa held his hand to his head. "…Oh mother...I need to lie down..."

"Later, sweetie." She said. "So tell me. Who is this 'girlfriend' of yours?"

_"Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!"_

**********

Kaiser's Afterthoughts 

* Geh...my first ever attempt at humor. It probably wasn't very funny, but I had some fun writing it. Plus, I got a chance to use the Millia/I-no thing without it being depressing or 'adult'. 

* Humor is hard for me to write, so I'll keep this as a one-shot. If you liked it, please say so, but if you didn't, take it easy. Humor is unfamiliar territory to me. 


End file.
